They Will Be Our Secrets - HIATUS
by Fae 206
Summary: Nearing their second wedding anniversary, Kuon and Kyoko are now happy with their lives. That is until a couple of secrets start to change their lives. Wrestling with upcoming motherhood, Kyoko is nervous to tell Kuon about the pregnancy whilst Kuon has found out devastating news from the doctor, he has stomach cancer. How can the two survive and will they share their secrets?
1. Prologue - I Love You

**AN:** This is a rewrite to my fic Secrets which is discontinued. I've been talking to Erza Tsuruga who inspired me to write this again by saying she was curious. I hope everyone enjoys this. I'm going to be moving a little slower this time as I definitely jumped the shark last time.

Chapter One starts with Kyoko and Kuon's second wedding anniversary.

 **Prologue – I Love You**

It couldn't be any more nerve-provoking than right now. After all the time they had spent getting to know each other and Kyoko had finally been able to gather up her courage. She was scared of how he would feel. He had just given her a necklace as a belated White Day gift and hanging down on the gold chain was an oval made out of the same stone that Corn was made of. It wasn't a very expensive gift but it meant a lot to her. He had also promised that he would tell her something when he was ready.

She had something that she wanted to tell him as well.

As cold and uncertain as she felt saying this, she wanted to follow her guts. It had been Tsuruga-san who had complimented her guts and courage in the beginning of their interactions as well even if he didn't agree with her motives for acting. From that she had found someone she was too scared to call a friend. He was amazing.

Kyoko took another shaky breath in as she tried to go forwards with her wish.

It was now the end of July. Maybe August would be a lucky month.

She looked up. Tsuruga-san was waiting for her patiently and she blushed before bowing her head again. He could always manipulatively charm women with that gleaming smile. She had tried to think of how she would feel were she to be rejected by him, told that he cared for someone else. As long as he didn't hate her then it was fine, right? "Umm…" she shivered a little, "I…" she tried to start again.

"Mogami-san," Ren said cautiously, looking at her more in concern than anticipation. He leaned down so he could get closer. "If you're not ready to tell me your important secret then please don't feel pressured to. I won't be angry or upset if you don't. You should take the time and tell me when you are ready," he advised. He felt guilty that _she_ was sharing her secrets when he had kept such an important one for so long.

"I…" Kyoko began again, her voice wavering. "I think I'm in love with you, Tsuruga-san," she said and bowed deeply. Ren blinked hard as he took a step back and Kyoko felt that she needed her courage. "I'm sorry," she bowed deeply and Ren looked even more concerned, "I know that I'm a plain boring woman who should have never put you in this position. I am so sorry," she said as she tried to hold back her tears. Was everything ruined between them now? Would he go ahead and discard her?

Ren blinked hard, the words going through his head as he tried but failed to form a response. Instead he just stared at her as one word passed through his lips, "Okay."

Kyoko felt mortified as she raised her head to look at him. She felt her spirit depart her body. She was so stupid. Of course he didn't think of her that way. She was an idiot to even believe such a lie. He had someone else he loved and she was burdening him with her own emotions. Her body was shaking as she bowed again, closing her eyes. "I am…I'm so sorry for inconveniencing you, Tsuruga-san."

Ren grinned as he let a soft laugh come from him causing Kyoko to turn a deep red. Was he mocking her? Was he about to say something cruel?"

"I'm sorry," he told her and Kyoko dared to open her eyes. "I am just very happy to hear that," he told her honestly before saying words she wasn't ready for. "I'm in love you with you too….Kyoko-chan," he said slowly and she blinked back tears, daring to look up at him. "Besides, I would never say you were plain or boring. First of all, you are gorgeous and you shouldn't let anyone tell you otherwise. Second though, you're the person I enjoy talking with, spending time with, and thinking about the most. I _do_ love you."

The red head grinned happily as she listened to him. She felt as if she was in a fairy paradise with Ren actually telling her these things. Japan's best actor had fallen in love with her. Kyoko blushed, she had to keep some part of her level-headedness. She blinked and looked at him, her heart was much too sensitive to be jumping to overreactions. "Could you say it again?" she asked timidly and Ren grinned.

"I am in love with you," he said slowly so that the words would reach her.

Kyoko grinned happily. She couldn't believe that this was happening. Maybe this time she could open her heart to love and she had found someone worthy of her love, unlike Shotaro.

"However," Ren said and Kyoko felt a shift in the atmosphere, "I have been concealing something from you. Can we go somewhere private and discuss it?" he asked and Kyoko nodded. This had turned a little scary but she wanted to give him time. He had told her that he had a secret to tell her and at least he was being honest _before_ they started their relationship.

She had already told herself that she loved Ren despite the violent part of him, the way he would sometimes become someone else without realizing, his jealous part. He was a good guy, right? She followed him to a secluded area and watched the color seem to fade from his eyes as he became very serious. What was he going to tell her? That he used to be a gigolo in New York? That he shot a man?

She looked at him as he took out a contact case? Was he about to tell her that he had to wear glasses and that he was too vain to do so on screen. It didn't matter if he had a problem with his vision. It wasn't as if him wearing glasses was any kind of deal breaker.

"Kyoko," he said as she looked away from the object that he was holding. "You remember that Tsuruga Ren is a stage name, right?" he asked nervously and she nodded. She did remember that. Was he going to tell her his real name? She wanted to be prepared for it. After all, Shotaro had said that if his fans ever knew his real name, he would retire from stardom.

Kyoko nodded, "I remember," she said and he paused.

"You may hate me for this," he whispered and she looked at him bewildered. She had just told him that she loved him, now he was saying that she would hate him?

"It doesn't matter what your name is," she said confidently, "Even if it's a boring name or something that sounds silly or strange, it doesn't matter. If I am…if we're in a relationship, I'd like to know your true name."

He sighed before bowing his head and removing something from his eyes. She was about to ask him where his glasses were and that he should have them in hand if he was taking his contacts out. Wait, did he need to take his contacts out to really tell her…no it was because it would be blurry if he put his glasses on on top of his contacts.

Kyoko was about to say something, but he looked at her and she opened her mouth speechless. His eyes had suddenly turned into the emerald green eyes that Corn had. What? Kyoko blinked hard. In her mind it was as if those eyes proved to her that this was the man that she was destined to fall in love with. However, was he…why would he go to the point of disguising his eyes…was this a joke?

"I don't…" Kyoko said as she looked at him, those eyes were so familiar, "I don't understand…"

"Kyoko," he whispered to her, "my real name is Hizuri Kuon. I am the son of Juliella and Kuu Hizuri," he said as Kyoko found herself to scream inside of her mind. What on earth was happening here!? She looked around. No hidden cameras. No one that would jump out at her and yell surprise.

Her jaw dropped as she saw his insecurity. He was being honest with her. "Huh?" she asked as she looked at him in shock. "You're Ku-Ku-Kuon?" she stuttered and he nodded.

"It's top secret, of course," he said before she reached his cheek. His eyes were scaring her…they were almost like. "There's another name that you know me under and for that I really do apologize. It was never my intention to hurt you."

"Uh huh," she whispered as she stood there frozen. She felt a little idiotic but it was so hard to take in.

"Are you…" she whispered as she looked at him and saw that pained expression on his face. He could have been honest with her for all the time that she had known him, ever since she had dropped that precious…her hand drew to her neck, of course he knew what kind of stone Corn was, not only had he held it, he had given it to her. "You're Corn, aren't you?"

"I am really sorry," Ren…Corn…Kuon bowed to her and he took a nervous inhale, "I deeply apologize for every pain I have caused you," he said and Kyoko nodded slowly. Ren looked so defeated by this but she could understand how painful it must have been for him to hide it. Wait? How had she met with him? She hadn't had any interest in acting. He was from a different land, which she was realizing was America. They were four years apart in age. How could they both be standing here, belonging to the same agency, and looking at one another as actors? Their fates _had_ to be tied.

"Can I be angry right now…no frustrated," Kyoko said and he nodded guiltily.

"Take all the time that you need," he replied before looking around nervously. "If I can soften the blow," he said tentatively.

Kyoko put her hand on his cheek, surprising both of them but she looked at him with a mix of emotions on her face. "I _am really_ frustrated," she repeated before smiling. "That doesn't change that I love you. I forgive you because I love you but why didn't you tell me before?"

"The first time I saw the stone, you hated me. Those were precious memories to you. I wasn't going to expect that your view of me would have changed because of that. When you talked about Corn the next time, I felt guilty for holding that information back from you. When we met in Guam, I….I was nervous to your reaction. I didn't know how you would handle me lying to you but it's important to me that you know," he said nervously and Kyoko smiled, tears in her eyes.

Standing on her tiptoes, Kyoko surprised him with a kiss before wrapping her arms around him. He lifted her up and she had her hands on his shoulders. "Don't try to talk your way out of this," she said before smiling. When Kuon placed her on the ground, she wrapped her arms around him and sank into his chest. "Now I get to be with two men that I feel in love with all in one man. I love you, Kuon," she said before laughing. "I'll have to get used to calling you that."

"Just Ren is fine for now," he told her as he pulled her close and she smiled, closing her eyes and inhaling.

"I promise that I won't tell a soul," she said and felt Kuon's fingers through her hair.

"So, can you be my girlfriend?" he asked her and Kyoko laughed, pressing her face into his chest.

"Of course," she looked at him and saw how happy he was and that made her happier. "If you can be my boyfriend."

 **End of Prologue**

 **Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**


	2. Chapter 1 - The Sixth Grateful Party

**AN:** As said before, huge time skip but I decided to play around with the date a little bit. There will be a continuation of the scene next chapter and then a smaller time skip.

 **Chapter One – The Sixth Grateful Party**

Kyoko grinned excitedly as she sat up in the bed. She gazed upon her husband who didn't know how blissful and godlike he appeared when he was so sleepy. They had started dating before she was eighteen but it was only after her eighteenth birthday that they had gone public with it. Less than a year after that, he had proposed to her and she had of course accepted. A little over a year, January 15th they had become husband and wife.

Today was the morning before her twenty-second birthday and she could boast about her acting career, her modelling career, and her beyond gorgeous husband who had chosen to remain here in Japan because she wanted to rather than go to America. Of course, now that they had set up their lives in Japan, the HIzuri parents had become frequent guests to their house.

Kyoko giggled as she thought about the joint party that she and Maria were going to throw and she wondered what kind of a gift Kuon might pick out for her this year. She let her fingers roam through his blond hair as she thought about how gorgeous he was. As she let the strands fall upon her finger tips, her eyes widened and she felt a burning heat coming from his forehead.

He had been showing signs of getting sick over the past two weeks and this wasn't a sickness that he had gone through before. During his time as both Ren and Kuon he had never had much of an appetite but he had been eating even less recently. He had always promised to eat at least a plateful of food at dinner but these days it looked like actual torture for him even with the dishes he liked the most.

Last night she had even gotten to the point of making wine gelee to coax him into eating and he told her that he had a headache just from the smell. Of course, she had had to stare at him for a long time to even have him admit that to her. As he slept, she saw that he had a tight grip on the blanket and he coughed with the same pain over his face. Something didn't seem right.

Had she not made the dessert right? She had tried to check the dates and accurately measure the quantities of ingredients.

"Kuon," she whispered as she left his side to get a thermometer to check his temperature but as she got up he looked like he was choking, it was then that his eyes widened and Kyoko felt her breath catch in her throat. She saw him hold to his mouth before jumping out of the bed and dashing to the bathroom. She liked the look of her husband without a shirt but something felt wrong. Had it been the wine? Was he ill?

Kyoko paused as she sat on the bed and tried to think about anything that might have created this reaction. She nervously stood after he had been in the bathroom for a short while and walked over to where he was. She was shocked to see that he was holding onto the toilet with a large amount of vomit there. What was going on with him?

"Sweetheart," she said as she made her way over to him, dampening a towel as she did so. "Corn," she said as she passed him the towel and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, "Are you okay?" she asked and he kept his face away from her.

"I'm fine," he said in a monotone that made Kyoko question how 'fine' he really was.

"Can you promise me that you'll make a doctor's appointment today?" she asked as she knelt behind him and rubbed his back gently. She was trying to hide most of her concern but this was a strange thing to happen to her husband. Despite the fact that he did get sick maybe once every year, this was causing Kyoko to panic. It was as if he had ingested poison and she had half a mind to call poison control and an ambulance but Kuon might say that she was overreacting.

Kyoko would have to monitor the situation from a close distance. She placed one hand over Kuon's, her own wedding ring resting on top of his and he smiled seeing the complimentary bands, his a lot less flashy than hers.

"I'll try to make one for the 26th," he told her and Kyoko hummed.

That was the best that she knew she was going to get and though she wanted to know as soon as possible what was wrong with him, she would wait. She couldn't pressure him or he might not go at all. She hugged him from behind before standing up slowly and kissing the top of his head. "Thank you, sweetheart," she said despite the nerves that were building inside of her.

She went back to sit on the bed. This was just the flu, right? An aggressive cold? There couldn't be anything _that_ seriously wrong with him. He was Kuon Hizuri. He was the single strongest person she knew both in body and in mind. He wouldn't get seriously ill, would he?

…..

…..

Kuon looked over to Kanae as she finished another of the dishes that Kyoko had come up with. His wife was always fantastic at cooking and she was the most creative person that he had ever met. He loved her. She had such a whimsy that was often lost when people were forced to grow up too quickly. However, this year he just didn't want to eat. He would often get indigestion in the years before this if he ate too much or too quickly, but it wasn't like this. It wasn't this blinding pain that felt as if his body was on fire, as if he had sustained a sports injury.

"Mo," he heard her grumble as he stared at the first dish he had been given. "Why is everything so damn delicious, people don't care that as an actress I have to keep in shape," she said and Kuon looked at her from where he sat about a foot away. He and Kanae got along because of Kyoko but she had never wanted to get to know him despite Kyoko's insistence. He wouldn't mind getting to know her but Kanae had made it clear that she only wanted Kyoko to be in relationships that were worthy of her.

He could respect that. He wanted to be worthy of her as well.

Kyoko came out of the kitchen at this time and Kuon hated that he still had the majority of the first dish on his plate. He didn't want to offend her and he didn't want to hear her even suggest that they should leave and go home. He stood quickly and quietly as Kyoko threw her arms around one of her two best friends. She was distracted and so this was his chance to leave before upsetting her.

"Moko!" Kyoko sang happily, "I'm so happy to see you. Thank you so much for coming," she said as she stood back and saw Kanae roll her eyes. "I'm glad that you enjoyed the food," she said excitedly as Kanae looked at her. Kyoko really did know her very well.

"Mo," Kanae said characteristically, "Why does your food have to be so good. I'm not getting any younger and I'm going to have to exercise for weeks to undo the damage," she complained as Kyoko blinked and looked around. "Are you even listening to me?" she asked and Kyoko nodded.

"Thank you for making the sacrifice," she grinned before humming, "I could have sworn that I just saw Kuon a moment ago," she commented and Kanae looked to the place where there was the mostly full plate of food. Kyoko's smile dropped, her eyes getting rather serious. Did he just leave because he didn't want to eat? She wasn't offended. Something was happening to him and food seemed to be more painful to him than it ever had been. She thought about the shirt that he had been wearing. What had seemed to be a good fit on him a month ago seemed loose but then if he was eating even less than usual….

"What's wrong?" Kanae asked as she tilted her head and Kyoko hummed.

"I think that Kuon might be hiding something from me," she said before thinking about how Kuon had been acting for the past few weeks. Had he somehow injured his stomach and hadn't told her? Had it finally broken? Maybe she should have persuaded him to go to the doctors, have it treated.

"I don't think it's an affair," Kanae said bluntly, "So you shouldn't worry so much."

Kyoko blinked as she turned to her friend, "No. I don't think he's having an affair either but Kuon and I have open communication…most of the time," she said as she remembered how distant he had been before she had realized that he was Corn. When that was out in the open, it felt that the two of them could talk about anything. He hadn't hidden something like this from her for a long time.

…..

…..

Yashiro had seen Kuon step out of the location. Even though, as an older actor, Kuon generally kept tabs on everything himself with the LME team helping him if needed, he hadn't worked with Yashiro for a few years. Yashiro was now Kyoko's manager full time but would help advise Kuon as a friend. When Kuon had finally let down his walls, Yashiro had been able to develop a friendship with him and even acted as his best man at the wedding.

That's why it was Yashiro who had followed Kuon out of the party and knew that something was wrong with him. He stood in the courtyard as the snow started to fall. He raised an eyebrow as if he wrapped his arms around himself, trying to avoid the chill.

He should have taken his jacket. Kuon should be _wearing_ a jacket.

"Are you okay?" Yashiro called after his friend and Kuon turned to face him. He let a small smile slip from his lips as he watched his best friend. He nodded.

"You should go back inside," he told him, "It's freezing out here."

"It doesn't seem to be phasing you," Yashiro challenged him before seeing the awkwardness on Kuon's face. Something was different here, something was very wrong with what was happening and he didn't know where to start. This most likely didn't have anything to do with his relationship with Kyoko. "Is this about yesterday, what did you find out?" he asked and Kuon bowed his head with deep breaths.

"They want to do some more testing, I have another appointment on the 26th but Kyoko thinks that's the first appointment. I don't want to worry her with anything and so I'm asking that you keep this confidential," he said and Yashiro sighed.

"Yes, of course," he said and then saw Kuon shiver a little and it didn't seem to be the weather that was affecting him. "Kuon?" he asked and Kuon looked away.

"The doctors told me that they found a black mass in my stomach, they are doing some further tests to sort it out but it's probably nothing," he said as Yashiro's eyes widened. A black mass? A tumor? Some kind of ulcer? "Yeah, it's probably nothing."

"Did the doctors tell you at all what they were checking for?" Yashiro asked and Kuon bowed his head, his eyes turning glassy as if trying to deny the words that were going to come from his mouth.

"They're checking for stomach cancer," he admitted and Yashiro stood there stunned. Obviously his friend had not told his wife or a party like this would not have been happening.

"I'm sorry," Yashiro blinked in shock, "What did you say?"

 **End of Chapter One**

 **Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

 **Thank you reviewers of the Prologue**

H-Nala, Kaname671

 **Thank you for your support everyone**


	3. Chapter 2 - You Should Trust Her

**AN:** Thank you for reading this 😊 I hope you guys are enjoying it

 **Chapter Two – You Should Trust Her**

Kuon sighed, he looked up at the sky wanting to be able to fly for real. He wanted to escape from this situation and he knew that his friend would try to convince him to let his wife know what was happening. Before Kyoko came along though, he could figure things out for himself and he _would_ figure this out for himself. He didn't want to repeat it because the more he repeated it, the more it sounded less like a hypothetical and more like cold facts.

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that?" Yashiro asked as he made his way to the actor. "I don't think that I heard you correctly."

Kuon sighed, he looked around awkwardly. "Please don't make me repeat it, not here," he said and Yashiro sighed. Of course they could be heard publicly if they were discussing such a thing but that gave it more truth. Kuon might be dying. This was something that those who really cared about the blond should know. Out here in the snow though, the blond hair and green eyes made him look even paler as if he could fade in an instant.

It had been a long time since he had had brown or black hair that wasn't for a movie role but the serious facial expression reminded Yashiro of his days with the early Ren. "Have they told you how likely it is?" he asked, "You've been having problems with your appetite for as long as I've known you," he said and Kuon shrugged.

"You shouldn't be out here without a jacket," Kuon commented, "I'm sorry that I pulled you out so quickly," he saw Yashiro shaking his head.

"You're the one who might be ill, Kuon," he argued before hearing a voice from the side. He sighed, he was glad that they weren't speaking in front of her but she should know. She should be told what Kuon was going through so at least she was prepared if Kuon _did_ have cancer. Yashiro blinked as that sentence sank in. Kuon could be terminally ill, that was most unsettling.

"Hey," Kyoko smiled as she rushed over to Kuon and put a hand on his chest. "You should be inside," she stood on her tiptoes so she could check his forehead. "It's not fair you being so tall," she laughed as she got back onto the ground. She frowned before taking his hand. "Let's go back inside. You really should be wearing a coat, Kuon." She turned back to Yashiro and gestured that he should come with them.

"I guess I forgot, the snow is gorgeous," Kuon smiled back at her and Kyoko raised an eyebrow.

"Uh-huh," she said slowly, "It's okay if you didn't like the food. I know that the richer dishes aren't your favorite. I _had_ put away some lighter food for you but I wasn't able to step away for long enough. Even if you're not eating, Kuon, are you really going to leave your wife alone on her birthday?" she asked and Kuon laughed, kissing her forehead as she grinned up at him, the concern never really leaving her eyes.

"I'll make sure to spend as much time as you want me to," he promised her and Kyoko grinned as she pressed the side of her head into his chest.

"Sometimes I wish I were taller," she said and he placed a hand on her back.

"You don't wish me shorter?" he asked with a tilt of his head and Kyoko grinned as she looked up into those gorgeous emerald eyes.

"No, I don't. You are perfect just the way that you are."

…

…

Kyoko still couldn't believe that Kuon had had the energy to not only have sex once when they had returned but to repeat the action, of course that meant that he wanted to take a nap and somehow Kyoko had woken up before him. She looked to the side where there was a beautiful ring dish and inside of the dish was a precious stone with a heart encapsulated in it made of the same stone that Corn was. It must have cost a lot for someone to create this. Kyoko held it up to the light where it became a soft pink. He did have a gift with these gems.

Kuon had also bought her something that was maybe a bit more useful, a desktop computer and a box full of famous acting scripts. He had really tried to give her the best birthday possible but was he wearing himself a little thin? As Kyoko stood, she saw that the first birthday present she had bought for him was poking out from where Kuon kept it on the chair. She went over to the sheep and took it in her hands.

"Kuon," she sighed as she watched him, "What is it that you're not telling me this time?"

She hugged the sheep close to her and saw Kuon shift a little, a frown coming over his face. Was he all right? He had the hospital appointment the next day so they should know if there was any medicine that he had to take. It was just a cold, wasn't it?

She looked around at the beautiful room in the beautiful house where Kuon tried to make her feel like she was the center of the universe, a treasured beauty, but he had never shown himself that type of love. Most of the clothes that he bought were for her despite them both receiving items from the brands that they modeled for. Kyoko reached out for the precious stone, precious to both of them.

"Kuon, please be okay or please let me know that you aren't," she begged before closing her eyes and cupping the stone in her hands so that she wouldn't cry. After all, she would be a little stupid for crying over a cold.

….

…

New Years Eve. It was a day that was going to symbolize wrapping things up and celebrating that there was going to do a new year, a new beginning, and to the man pacing outside the formal hotel room, this meant something nerve wrecking. Usually people weren't allowed to come this far up but he had a significant link to the high-profile VIP guests in this hotel room. He paced again as he ran his fingers through his blond hair again.

How was he going to explain this? He couldn't go home because she would be there and he wasn't ready to tell _her_ yet and so he had gone to his parents. His dad would know how to make this better, wouldn't he? Kuon felt something grip him in his stomach. He was going to be sick but he knocked once again on the hotel room door, pacing down the hall again.

He froze as he saw that it was his father who answered the door, Kuu looked at him confused with a soft smile. "Kuon?" he asked before studying him. Was something wrong? "It's a surprise to see you. A good surprise, don't get me wrong but still a surprise, is there something that is goi-"

"I need to talk to you," Kuon said as he looked at his father guiltily. "Is it going to sound terrible if I say…just you…"

Kuu looked more serious as he shook his head and grabbed a jacket. He also grabbed his wallet. "Of course not," he said before seeing Julie come towards the door. "Julie, we're just taking a walk, we will be back soon," he said and Julie turned to Kuon.

"What's wrong?" she asked and Kuon looked at her before shaking his head. "Don't lie to me," Julie said as she crossed her arms. Kuon looked at them guiltily. He knew that his mother just wanted to help but once he opened this box there was nothing he would be able to do to close it.

"I'm really sorry," Kuon said as he looked down. "I really love you, Mom but it's hard for me to say this to more than one person right now," he said as Kuu put a hand on his shoulder trying to guide him out of the hotel room. "I'm really sorry," he apologized and Julie sighed.

"Well, at least your father gets to know," she said with a roll of her eyes as Kuu managed to steer Kuon out before Julie got too upset.

Once in the elevator, Kuu noted Kuon's uncomfortable behavior. No, it wasn't the right time to admit that he was ecstatic that Kuon had come to _him_ for help. He put a hand to Kuon's shoulder. "It's all right. Whatever is going on, it's all right, we can figure this out together. There has to be something that can be done," he said and Kuon nodded shakily.

"A mixture of drug treatments," he said as he stared at the floor of the elevator wide eyed and Kuu blinked as he mouthed the words Kuon had just said. "Observation and if that doesn't have the effect then there's always chemotherapy."

"Chemotherapy?" Kuu asked before sighing, "Is it one of your friends?" he asked, "Your manager? It's okay, you can just…there's a lot that you can do when you're supporting someone who is battling something like that. I know that you're scared of losing someone after Richard but…"

"No, they don't," Kuon whispered as he messed up his hair even more. He struggled to breathe and so pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket. He froze as he broke down coughing and tried to hide the blood phlegm from his father. Kuu turned slowly as he stared at his son. Kuon was coughing up…blood?

Kuu stared at him as the pieces came together, he stood in front of Kuon twitching, he wanted to touch his forehead and make sure that he was okay but they had only recently reestablished their relationship within the last three years. He could be an overprotective father and check Kuon's temperature, couldn't he?

"Dad, it's okay," Kuon said knowing that by the expression on his father's face he knew what was going on. "I'm not dead yet. They say it's pre-stage three so it hasn't spread but…they say it's aggressive," he said as Kuu stood staring at him, his eyes wide in disbelief.

There was a ding as the elevator made a stop and Kuu shifted over so that some other guests could come in. He looked down so that nobody would try to question him. He took some deep breaths and then managed to smile though the fear just as an actor of his caliber would – Kuon was already doing so -.

When they got down to the lobby, Kuu gestured with a tilt of his head for them to leave in the direction furthest from the crowds. He tried to breathe as he digested the information. "I'm sorry," he apologized as he tried to wrap his mind around it. "You have stage two cancer?" he whispered as Kuon nodded and Kuu stared at him again. "Kuon. If this is some kind of a joke or a…"

"It's one-hundred percent real," Kuon said and Kuu looked at him. "I don't know how to tell Kyoko."

"The best approach is to be honest and direct. Tell her that that's what the doctors found and make sure to give her every piece of information that they gave to you. Tell her the name of the doctor that's treating you and make sure that she has his or her phone number in case of an emergency," Kuu advised as he looked to his son. Stage Two wasn't as bad as the later stages by far, at least there was still a cure available.

"Could you please not tell her," Kuon said nervously, "I need to tell her on my own, do it in the right way," he struggled and Kuu stared at him.

"Trust me, Kuon," he said, "bit of fatherly advice. Tell her when you two are alone as soon as you can. Just be completely honest with her. Make sure she can ask you any questions and if you don't know the answer that you'll find out at your next doctors visit. Even if you meet with her at a studio, take her to the side and tell her the truth. That's the best way of doing it," Kuu advised and Kuon shook his head.

"I'm going to think about the best way of doing this," he repeated as if he wasn't listening to his dad. "If nobody tells her then she'll be happy, she won't find out."

Kuu froze, "Kuon, she's your wife and because she's your wife, she'll find out and it'll be a lot better coming from you than some other way. Trust her. However, as for me, I'll keep this private between the two of us and please…if there is anything that you need from us, don't hesitate to ask."

Kuon nodded, "Thank you for keeping it between us," he told his father and Kuu looked at him nervously. It really would be best for all of this to be out in the open.

 **End of Chapter Two**

 **Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

 **Thank you to reviewers of Chapter One**

Brennakai, Kaname671, paulagato

 **AN2:**

In response to the comment about me jumping, yeah…probably. I actually write about 500 words of a fic at one time and sometimes don't read the entire piece until days after I upload it. Which shows you how little time I spend editing, I'm kind of a poor writer in that way but I'm sure my fics would be much better if I did edit, hmm…Well, Kuon won't be telling Kyoko soon despite Kuu's advice, after all that is a major part of this fic 😉


	4. Chapter 3 - Distance and Suspicion

**AN:** I'm trying to think of how to make this different from its original, "Secrets" and I think at that time I gave away the secrets between them too early. I wrote that fic about a year, maybe even two years ago but I really liked it. I hope that you guys enjoy the rewrite as well 😊 Thank you for your support.

 **Chapter Three – Distance and Suspicion**

Kuon was being distant with her again and he hadn't really done that for years with her or at least she couldn't remember anything after their wedding. She saw him looking at a book whilst sitting on the sofa. He had one of those brown bags covering it that men might have at train stations to hide the fact that they were reading dirty comics. Kyoko took a deep breath in. Kuon _was_ satisfied by her, right?

She was starting to feel worried about how she was as a woman? Maybe he had started to see how insecure she was when it came to him wanting to experiment and even roleplay. Yes, Kyoko had discovered her husband's darker and kinkier side that Yashiro definitely would have wanted to keep the Japanese public from knowing. He wasn't Christian Gray but he was emperor of the night.

She sighed, even if it was one of those books, she loved him and she wanted to prove that he had nothing to hide. She accepted that he was a guy and if he needed something to pleasure himself with at least he wasn't going off to another woman. She smiled as she walked over to him and he instantly closed the book and looked at her with a shaky grin and an awkward laugh.

"You feeling okay, sweetheart?" Kyoko asked as she came to sit next to him and touched his forehead. "I was in contact with Shotaro's mother," she said as she picked up a hot towel and some medicine. "She's given me some really good ideas at how to help you get over this cold. Did the doctors give you antibiotics?" she asked with a tilt of her head, "because it's really not good to mix certain things so if I could see the antibiotics they gave you."

Kuon looked at her and then thought about the information that he was hiding from her. He shook his head. "They didn't give me any antibiotics," he said and Kyoko paused.

"Did they give you a prescription?" she asked with a soft hum. She would have thought that since he had been sick for such an extended period of time, they would have told him to take some. He needed to get healthy again so he could continue working. She let her fingers run through his blond strands thinking about how lucky she was to be with someone so gorgeous.

"No prescription," he told her as he tried to stand, pressing the book to his chest. "Kyoko, I think that there's some work I need to do in the other room," he told her and Kyoko froze. She nodded nervously before gazing up at him, her eyes showing her concern and her face trying to figure out whether she had done anything wrong.

Kuon gently put a hand on her shoulder, "I just need to do something," he said. As he was about to move his arm from her, Kyoko took it in her hand and held it, kissing it. She knew something was bothering him and she hated being on the outside of it. She wanted to do something to at least help him feel better.

"Kuon, I love you," she said as she tried not to cry, "You know that, right? You know that I love you unconditionally?"

"I know that," he nodded, "I love you too."

"And so if there is ever anything that you want to talk about or anything that I can help you with," she whispered. "I want you to rely on me," she whispered. "Is there anything that you're not telling me? Even if it's embarrassing, I promise never to tell anyone else and I promise not to stop loving you. Is there anything that the doctor said that you might not be telling me?"

"It's the flu," Kuon said to her as he pushed the book to him. "That's all it is, pretty straightforward."

Kyoko hummed, "I won't think you're weak if you ask for help, Kuon," she tried to assure her. "I mean, isn't that what is good about being married to someone that you love and trust enough to be in a marriage with, that you don't have to face things alone anymore."

"It's a cold, I'll tell you if the doctors think it's worse," he said and Kyoko looked at him before nodding with a weak smile.

As he walked away, Kuon opened the book again hoping that Kyoko would never see that it was a self-help book about what to do when you've been told you have a possibly terminal illness.

…

…

Kyoko felt nervous. She and Kuon had had sex on her birthday and that had been a really pleasant thing for her, however he had become distant on the day after and maybe that guilt was just in her stomach. Kuon wouldn't do anything to hurt her and he still told her that he loved her. She hadn't done anything wrong, right?

Kyoko looked out the window as she turned to Yashiro and smiled. Kuon seemed to be fine with Yashiro being her manager and Kyoko felt very comfortable in his presence but she couldn't help thinking that Kuon had told someone of the problems that he had been having and why wouldn't it be his best friend? It was wrong to dig for information but she was desperate to know what he was hiding from her.

"Has Kuon spoken to you recently?" she asked and Yashiro rolled his eyes.

"As much opening up as Kuon really does, yes we have spoken," he said. He wondered if Kyoko was referring to the illness. Kuon tended to bottle things up inside but he wouldn't be so chicken that he wouldn't tell her that the doctors were scared of his stomach and a possible cancer situation. Yashiro had honestly been wanting to ask him but had been hoping that Kyoko would do that.

As Kyoko tried to think over the last week, she frowned. Something felt so different, like he was still hiding something from her and now it felt even worse. She bowed her head. "I think it's good that we're going to be starring in something together again. I always enjoy having him on set."

"He's still….he's still doing that?" Yashiro asked and Kyoko turned to him in a flash.

"What reason would he have for not doing that?" she asked, maybe a little _too_ eager to hear the answer. Yashiro just shook his head. If Ren hadn't told her then it definitely wasn't his business to tell her. Maybe it meant that there was nothing wrong, that the doctors had determined he was negative to the tests that they had performed. He hoped that that was the case.

"I'm just thinking, he's been quite tired recently and Kuon has always had a lot of prospects," he told her and Kyoko hummed before nodding. That sounded right. However, she knew that Kuon loved working opposite her. He wouldn't have turned down the role without talking to her. He even told her about roles that he had zero interest in accepting.

"This tired….do you think that there could be anything wrong with him other than the flu?" Kyoko asked and Yashiro froze. He wanted to say yes but he would be sharing something that Kuon wasn't ready to share with her. He wanted to grab Kuon by the shoulders and tell him that he was being an idiot by not letting Kyoko in to know the truth.

"I'm sure it's nothing," Yashiro replied as he did his best to keep his facial expression as a neutral.

"Maybe," Kyoko said slowly, "maybe I just worry about him because of how much I love him. He doesn't usually get sick, he's usually pretty healthy despite how little he eats. I think maybe he's having one of those times that he has where he doesn't feel much of an appetite."

"Is that right?" Yashiro asked nervously and Kyoko stared at him, she nodded slowly as she watched Yashiro's behavior. She put a hand to her belly. Something felt strange inside but there was no way that something had happened between her and Kuon. Plus, testing for pregnancy a week after you had sex, wasn't that premature?

She'd know in a few days, yes, everything would be normal in a few days and she was just trying to direct her nervous energy somewhere. She looked at Yashiro nervously. He was her friend too and he supported the couple, he had since before they had even gotten together. "Can you do me a favor?" she asked him and Yashiro nodded slowly, "If you were asked to keep something private from me, I understand you not wanting to betray Kuon but can you try to get him to tell me. You don't think he'd have an affair, right?"

Yashiro's eyes opened in shock, "No. He would never have that kind of relationship with another woman, never. You are forgetting how much he adores you. However, I will speak with him if something else comes up," he said and Kyoko sighed.

"I didn't think it was that," she admitted, "just something that Moko said."

…

…..

Lory stared at the blond feeling in deep shock. It wasn't a rare thing for an actor to request some time off from the acting scene, it was stressful being a celebrity and that was something he could understand. Well, he could understand if any kind of normal person did it but Kuon Hizuri?

"Are you sure that you don't need a psych evaluation before you do this?" Lory asked as he sat there dressed like a pirate and Kuon nodded. "You do know that it's policy for people to do meet with a doctor unless they have a legitimate reason."

"I have a legitimate reason," Kuon said and Lory looked at him, raising an eyebrow.

"You feel ready to share this with me?" he asked and Kuon sighed as he closed his eyes and bowed his head. He shook his head. "Kuon, you know better than anyone that my rules are to help the actors and other stars here. Even people who are office workers are recommended to see a therapist to talk over this so if you do have a legitimate -"

"Please don't tell Kyoko," Kuon whispered as he took some controlled breaths. He looked at the carpeted floor before dropping his head. He tried to focus before looking a the president again. "Please don't tell Kyoko," he repeated again and Lory sighed.

"Fine. I won't tell your wife although I don't see why you don't share something like this with her. Even if you had a furry addiction and wanted to live your life as a puppy with her as your owner or something, at least tell her," he said and Kuon choked at hearing that. He kept his head bowed and looked at his wrist where he had used to wear Rick's watch.

"I've been having some doctors visits recently and…they shared something with me that makes me think that I shouldn't be acting," he said and Lory frowned, confused to why Kuon was talking like this. "They say I have stage two stomach cancer," he admitted as he shivered, "but they also say if they don't keep it under control, the possibility of it reaching Stage Three is pretty strong."

Lory sighed, "I'm sorry, Kuon. I understand how hard that must be and although I am angry, I will draw up the paperwork for you to be able to take some time off, your health really should be the top priority or one of the two."

Kuon looked at him confused, "You're angry that I'm taking a break from acting?" he asked and Lory stared at him, looking exhausted and a little pissed off by his words.

"Of course I'm not angry about that. That is a serious health condition that you have and health conditions are rarely anyone's fault. No, I'm angry because you're keeping such a thing from Kyoko. Do you think that she would do anything other than support you through this? Is that how little faith you have in her?"

Kuon looked up in shock and shook his head, "No. It's just that I don't want to worry her. I'd rather keep this from her than putting her in any difficult position."

"Do you know how difficult her position will be if you continue to get sicker, if this does turn into a situation where you will face the effects of chemo and she doesn't know anything? That kind of pain, seeing the love of your life getting sicker and sicker is one of the hardest pains that you have to go through but at least you can support them," Lory said and Kuon sighed.

"I still don't think she should know, not until it _is_ cured," he said and Lory sighed loudly in frustration, however he knew that if Kyoko heard that Kuon was keeping this from her, the pain that she would experience would be a lot more than if Kuon was completely honest with her.

 **End of Chapter Three**

 **Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

 **Thank you to reviewers of Chapter Two**

Brennakai, H-Nala, Kaname671, paulagato

 **AN2:**

Yes, stage two is treatable but it's aggressive and Kuon is actually a little scared of what that means and that's why he's not telling Kyoko. There will be a few more things that happen before she demands an explanation from him and a couple of those things took place in the original story 😉 Anyway, thank you so much for all of your support, it means a lot to me.


	5. Chapter 4 - Her Love For Ren

**AN:** Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy. I sped things up a little bit.

 **Chapter Four – Her Love for Ren**

A week later, Kyoko was staring at the little stick in her hand. There was a pink plus sign which meant one thing, she was pregnant. Although Kyoko knew that it was best to get a doctor's opinion, the pink plus sign was rarely a false positive. She froze. Maybe a month or two ago she would have felt happier about the fact that she and Kuon were going to have a baby but because Kuon had distanced himself from her, her old fears had sprung up.

She didn't know if he would want _her_ children. Maybe he really was trying to find a way out of this marriage like Kanae had said. Kyoko wrapped the test up in some toilet roll and tossed it into the bottom of the bin. She wouldn't tell him, not yet. She needed to find the right time and when he was acting like this, it might do more damage than good.

If their marriage really was drawing to a close then she didn't want to make him feel guilty if he were to leave and she didn't want to force him to stay if he didn't want to.

Maybe it wasn't even worth keeping the child. Although that really pained her, Kyoko wasn't sure if she had it in her to be a single mother. She tried to hold back her tears before exiting the bathroom and came out with a neutral expression. She froze as she saw Kuon with a large bag stuffing it with clothes and a few other items.

She froze as she watched him. What was going on?

"Corn?" she asked timidly as she walked over to him and let her fingers play with the collar on one of his shirts. "What are you doing? What's going on?"

"I'm leaving for a little bit," he said before coughing and Kyoko watched him. His health hadn't improved and she had been hoping that the antibiotics would have had some effect. She reached out to touch his forehead but before she could, he had pulled away, nearly hurting his neck with the force. "I don't know when I'll be back."

"Corn, you're sick," she whispered as she saw the way his eyes were even a little glassy. Kyoko reached out for him and rubbed his upper arm affectionately. He stared at her hand. "Why are you going away?" she asked sadly as she looked in the bag. She didn't know what she had done wrong to make her husband want to leave her? "If you want to go, I won't stop you," she whispered with a bowed head as she tried to hold back the tears. This felt like the numerous times Shotaro had left her but so much more painful.

"You wouldn't understand, you wouldn't want to understand," Kuon told her and Kyoko stared at the bag.

"Try me," she challenged him as she raised her chin to look at him with direct eye contact. "Say something that wouldn't make me want you to stay," she told him and Kuon looked down awkwardly. He was hiding something from her. She hated knowing that he wasn't able to tell her something, that he wanted her not to know. "If you really have slept with someone else," she saw Kuon's horrified expression. "It's okay. We'll get through it together. I love you."

"I most definitely have not slept with someone else, I haven't even done a stage kiss recently," he sighed and pushed his hand through his blond hair. He couldn't believe that she thought he was still a ladies man.

Kyoko looked at him guiltily, the tears starting to leave her eyes. "I'm sorry. I didn't think so but you're hiding something from me and I'm sorry if I did something wrong, I'm sorry if you don't love me anymore."

"I do love you," Kuon said firmly before looking at the covered book. Would it be easier to tell her? No, He didn't want to hurt her. Maybe it was time though, if he was leaving her then she deserved to know the truth. He looked at the bed. "I have cancer," he said in a whisper and Kyoko blinked.

"Sorry," she said as she leaned in, "Can you repeat what you just said? I didn't hear you," she told him honestly and he frowned at her.

"I'm _not_ saying it again," he said and Kyoko looked at him in shock. She really hadn't heard him. Was it that bad that to say it twice was enough to bring about a natural disaster. She tried to think about his lips? Candor? Canada?

"I honestly didn't hear you, Kuon" she said and Kuon shook his head, finishing with packing the bag. He wasn't going to say it again. What was the point in repeating it? "Please say it again, I promise, no judgement," she said as she put a hand to her heart to drive home the point. Kuon looked at her. He felt exhausted.

"I'm leaving because I don't want to worry you anymore, I don't want you to find out," he said and Kyoko followed him to the door. She didn't understand what was happening but she didn't want him to go.

"It'll worry me more not to know," Kyoko whispered. "Please, whatever it is, please let me in," she whispered and Kuon opened the front door, unlocking his car. "Kuon?" she grabbed his arm desperately. Kuon stared at her before pulling out of her hold. Kyoko ran forwards and wrapped her arms around his back before he could get into the car. "Plea—se?" she begged and Kuon got into the car and closed the door, buckling himself in with his bag on the passenger seat.

Kyoko wanted to scream at him, order him to stay but if he really wanted to leave then he _would_ leave.

"I'll let you take some time for yourself," she whispered, "but please tell me what it is. Please tell me what's wrong?" she said as she found it harder to breathe and Kuon sighed.

"The doctors have diagnosed me with an aggressive form of Stage Two stomach cancer," he told her and Kyoko froze. She felt as if ice had coated her entire body as she stared at him in horror. What had he just said to her? He didn't mean that, did he?

"What…" Kyoko asked slowly as she realized that he had been keeping how sick he really was from her. She had wanted to help him. She had only wanted to help him and he had been lying to her. "I don't…what does stage two mean?" she asked as her body wanted to be close to his chest. Cancer? Did this mean he was terminally ill?

"I really have to go," Kuon told her before driving away and Kyoko watched the car stunned, her heart breaking for him. Somehow it did feel even worse for him to have just told her that and left. How could she not worry that he wasn't okay?

Kyoko ran into the house and went onto the computer searching up what that really meant. She read a sentence that made her body freeze again, "When reaching Stage 3 there is only a 30% survivor rate."

Kyoko really didn't want to tell him about the baby at this point.

…

…

Two days later, Kyoko was at the grocery store trying to find something for dinner. Maybe she should cook enough for him. He hadn't returned any of her phone calls but that didn't mean that he wouldn't come home and they could discuss treatment options and she could remind him that she loved him. Kyoko sighed, their wedding anniversary was coming up soon. She should do something special for that in case this was their last. Kyoko shook her head, scolding herself, she couldn't afford to think like that. Kuon would recover.

The first thing when considering what food to eat with stomach cancer was to try to get a balanced diet. The website that she had looked at had suggested fish, vegetables, and eggs. She could do something with that.

Then there was cutting back on processed foods, that included candy so she had to consider other Valentine's Day gifts which was a little easier, he had never been a huge fan of candy although he had always told her that he enjoyed the chocolates she made him.

Another tip was to eat smaller foods more frequently. Tsuruga Ren always ate small meals and that was before they were dating, she could coax him into eating some homemade rice balls, taking a bento with him when he went to work and then dividing it into thirds to eat at different points of the day.

Kyoko smiled as she reached for a package of salmon.

It was at this point that Kyoko saw a flash of brown that she hadn't seen for a while. It seemed different and she turned around seeing the man in question but it scared her. Her husband was here in a grocery store but instead of his gorgeous blond hair and emerald eyes he looked exactly like Ren. Kyoko took a deep breath in, this didn't mean that he had dyed his hair. She nervously took a breath in to steady herself and walked over to him.

"Hi," she said as she reached for his hand, "I've missed you. How are you?" she asked with tears in her eyes. She saw him look away from her and she felt incredibly insecure in his doing that. "Please come home. We don't even have to talk about it. Please don't push me away."

"Ah," he said, his voice sounding distant and Kyoko frowned, "Mogami-san," he said and she looked up at him horrified to hear that name. She could see that gentleman smile and she wanted to grab him by the collar and shake him until he acted like Kuon.

"You mean Kyoko…Hizuri, your wife?" she asked and saw him look away. "Kuon?"

"It's Ren," he told her and Kyoko tapped her foot with a hand on her hip. What was he doing? Had he lost his mind? This wasn't one of the symptoms that she had read about.

"Uh-huh, _Ren_ ," she said as she looked him over. "Can I please speak to Kuon, _Reeeen_?"

"I've changed my name to Ren," he told her and Kyoko's jaw dropped. Had he gone completely insane? How was she supposed to deal with this.

"Uh-huh, I see," she rolled her eyes, she had thought that marrying someone four years older than her would mean that she wouldn't have to put up with this childish behavior. "So, _Reen_ ," she said, drawing out his name. "You feel like coming home to _your wife_ any time soon?"

"Does she want me home?" he shrugged and Kyoko wanted to kick him or at least pound his chest gently and tell him to stop this, stop messing with her. Instead she was more worried about his sanity. She knew he was coping with so much stress with this illness but he could at least let her help him.

"Of course, she wants you home," she said with a determined expression. "She never wants you to leave her."

"She wants _Kuon_ to come home to her and _Kuon_ isn't who I feel like being right now," he told her as he started walking away but she chased him. Okay, so what if his mind was broken? At least he didn't believe that he was Shotaro.

"Yes, you're right, she does want Kuon home with her but she'll settle for Ren," she told him before trying to smile. "Please, Ren, we don't even have to sleep in the same bed if you don't want to."

"You're okay with Ren?" he asked her and Kyoko sighed before nodding.

"Yes," she said wondering if she should tell the president that Kuon had seemed to have lost his mind. At least if Ren was his coping device, it could have been far worse.

 **End of Chapter Four**

 **Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

 **Thank you to** Kaname671 **for reviewing Chapter Three**

 **I hope you guys don't mind him telling her, it doesn't mean that there still won't be secrets such as keeping it from the media and Julie still doesn't know.**


	6. Chapter 5 - Fragments of Kuon

**AN:** I wanted to take some time and upload a mass of stuff together but my body is feeling tired and sluggish and sick so hopefully I'll start feeling better soon. However, thank you for choosing to read this fic.

 **Chapter Five – Fragments of Kuon**

Kyoko sighed as she started to make a simple fish broth. She had one thing solved, Kuon was back in the house but he wasn't really home yet. She had known and accepted him when agreeing to marry him. Kuon was a bit figged up as a person. Kyoko paused, she hated that she had said that about him but it was true. One of those things was that Kuon was a bit immature when it came to actually discussing problems that he was having. It wasn't just Kuon who was at fault here.

All kids have problems but the younger Kuon kept his problems inside, he used to talk to stones and to nature and then he came to Japan when he was ten. Instead of spending time with his father or having anyone really to spend time with, he had gone to play in a wooded area where no one really cared as long as he returned alive during the evening.

He had built a system on stones and dreams and then his imaginary world had been crushed to pieces only constructed to be the messy shambles in which Cain Heel lived _his_ life. Then there was Rick's death where Kuon couldn't speak to anyone or anything because of that responsibility he felt. According to everyone else, he had been like a shell of a man that they had trouble getting a response from.

That was before Ren. Before Ren existed, got used to his new life. Ren could deal with problems himself and he had to, nobody was allowed to see a weak side of Ren…apart from Bo. Because of her, Kuon had come out and replaced Ren despite not being quite as emotionally strong as his false identity. This whole thing was so screwed up and Kuon seemed to be coping with this devastating news about his life by relying on maybe the only person who was really there for him all those years, Ren.

It felt right now that she was being a caretaker to him and she just wanted to talk about this with Kuon.

She was pissed at him, angry that he had tried to run away and had left her with this truth bomb, angry that he had actually told the president before he had told her – she had found that out when she learned he had tried to withdraw from the acting department – and she was pissed that he wasn't here to talk to her. She slammed a hand down on the surface as she tried to think this through.

"Breathe, Kyoko. You knew he was like this when you married him," she told herself before seeing to the dish. At least things were starting to make more sense. He hadn't been eating because he had a cancerous mass in his body, he was throwing up and coughing up because of the cancerous lump in his body, he had cancer and a lot of people died from can-Kyoko put her hand on the counter again trying to calm herself before she lost herself. She needed to discuss this with him before it reached Stage Three.

Kyoko tested the broth again, it tasted delicious to her and not too heavy. She would have to play around a bit with how dense Kuon liked his broths…well, she hoped that it was _Kuon_ who liked the broth.

She would set it on a low heat and add the vegetables and then finish off the fish to put in. She turned around before hearing a noise from the hallway and she took a step forward to see Kuon….Ren there. "Hey, you promised to at least eat with me," she said as she placed a hand on her belly as if protecting the baby from this sadness. She still hadn't told him yet. They could only sort one thing out at a time.

"I'm not leaving," he told her and she sighed before walking towards him.

"You've left me for the past few days, I don't think you get to think that I'm not worried about this well. Is it possible to speak to Kuon?" she asked. She felt a little awkward in saying this, she had thought that he had outgrown this. At least this was the only way he had seemed to slip psychologically.

"Really?" Ren looked at her, "What do you want to talk to him about?"

"I don't know," Kyoko said as she walked closer to him. "I'm making him dinner and maybe I'd like his opinion on which vegetables he'd like or maybe just because I heard someone who works on the set of my drama say how much he inspires them, or maybe I just want his recommendation on a good movie we could watch tonight," she said as she managed to stand in front of him.

"Or maybe, I just want to talk to the man I married, the man that I _love_ , and tell him that it's going to be okay. I'm okay and I really need to know if he's okay," Kyoko sighed as she looked him in the eyes. She really didn't like the brown color contacts. When he was in a role, fine, but it felt like a wall between them. "Kuon?" she asked.

"You won't talk to him about you know…" Ren said awkwardly and Kyoko nodded.

"I know he's not ready. I know that it's going to be some time until he's able to really discuss it but I would like to be with him and when Kuon _is_ ready to talk, I will give him all of my time and attention even if that means that I will never be able to leave this house."

Ren looked at her before digging out the contact lens case, "I'm keeping the hair," he told her and Kyoko nodded. She watched as he removed the brown contacts and she looked into his emerald eyes. Even fifty-percent Kuon was better than one-hundred-percent Ren.

"I'm really sorry that I hurt you," Kuon whispered and Kyoko wrapped her arms around him, smiling as he pulled her into his chest. "I'm sorry I left."

"You're here now and I can always let my anger at you sit until you're ready to take it," Kyoko whispered as she started crying. "I am so sorry. I should have realized that you weren't as -"

"I'll put the contacts back in," he told her and Kyoko gasped before pulling back.

"No, no we don't need to…to talk about it," she told him although she was dying to talk about it and about how they were going to handle the hospital, if he was going to need inpatient care at any point, what they would do if it developed and if his body rejected medication and/or surgery.

"I'm sorry," Kuon said nervously, "I just have to come to accept it myself. I have a doctor's appointment at the end of the week, do you want to come with m-"

"Yes" Kyoko replied without even giving him a chance to finish. "Yes. I want to come with you, what time is it?" she asked and pulled out her schedule.

"In the morning, eight," he told her and Kyoko looked to the book. She would have to be at work by ten but maybe Yashiro might be able to push it back for her if needed. Hospital visits usually didn't last that long but what if he had to be scheduled for surgery or something that day. She wanted to be with him and if he wanted her there too, nothing would stop her.

There was the sound of steam from the kitchen and Kyoko squeezed Kuon's hand with a smile before rushing back to turn down the heat. She checked each of the pots and then put the ingredients together. She grinned back at where he was standing.

"I'm really happy that you're home, Kuon, although I want to get your hair back immediately," she winked and he sighed.

"Really?" he asked.

Kyoko nodded, "I need my emerald-eyed, blond haired, fairy prince," she winked to him and he sighed, letting his fingers brush through the strands that he felt like he needed to be brown right now.

…

…

Kyoko looked at Yashiro the next morning with a troubled expression on her face. She felt that she needed to tell him about the pregnancy just because of how jobs would be scheduled. She wasn't sure though how much had been told to him about Kuon's condition but she was jealous that she wasn't first and instead he had told both Kuu – which Kyoko couldn't be too angry about – but that he had told the president before her was more upsetting.

Honestly, Kuu might have been the best person to talk to if it wasn't her and it meant that Kuon was trying to find someone to help him. She should be that person though, that's what good marrying someone is. Kyoko sighed before bowing her head.

"I have something to tell you Yashiro and please, please, on pain of death, do not let Kuon know until I tell him," she said with a serious threatening expression on her face. Yashiro nodded slowly.

"Okay. I feel like I might regret saying this but what did you want to tell me?" he asked and Kyoko put a hand on her belly again and blushed.

"I'm pregnant," she said and Yashiro grinned happily, nearly missing the off ramp with his joy. Kyoko smiled. Maybe it would be okay to tell Kuon about the baby. Weren't happy things supposed to keep you motivated and give you more energy. "It's Kuon'."

"I was assuming so," Yashiro laughed, "I mean, even before you and Kuon got married you weren't one for leading men on or being interested in other men. Why don't you want me to tell him? Oh, are you planning one of those surprises where he'll have this goofy expression on his face?" Yashiro laughed and Kyoko looked down nervously.

"No, that's not the reason. I'm not sure if I really want for him to know about the baby," Kyoko said timidly and Yashiro slowly looked at her, a clear non-understanding of the situation on his face.

"Kuon wants kids…he wants a life with kids," the actress said in a very no-nonsense manner. She had heard Kuon talk about how he wanted to be a father who acted the way his own dad did. He wanted to be a strong parent, set an example for his children, be an inspiration. He had also told her that if she didn't want to be a mother that it was all right. His love for her could be kept to her. Knowing that Kuon had such dreams of family life meant that Kyoko would have felt comfortable with kids, if they grew up with their father.

"And you're not sure that you do?" Yashiro asked confused as they stopped at the next set of lights on the way to work.

"I don't want to be a single mother. I wouldn't be able to provide the best kind of life for our child. I need for everything to be perfect if I'm to have a child and their father needs to be part of the picture. Maybe the doctor visit will help me make that decision," Kyoko replied and Yashiro looked at her.

"So, he really is sick." Yashiro sighed as he pulled over to the side of the road and looked her in the eyes. "Please listen to me, if you have any desire to not keep this child you must never tell Kuon about this. Don't give him that burden. However, if you do decide to keep them, they will always be related to their father even if he's no longer physically here."

 **End of Chapter Five**

 **Thank you for reading, reviews are really appreciated**

 **Thank you reviewers of Chapter Four**

Brennakai, Kaname671, paulagato

 **AN2:**

Kuon definitely is being cowardly but he's had some bad coping methods in the past as well, and not in this fic he doesn't think that. Oh my gosh. Now I'm getting a fic idea where Kuon gets into some kind of trauma and actually thinks that he's Sho but he's planning a wedding with Kyoko and Kyoko doesn't know what to -anyway, thank you so much for the support, it means a lot to me.


	7. Chapter 6 - That's Kuon

**AN:** Kuon goes a little off in the last part of this chapter but it's more to show his shaky emotional stability for right now. Hope you enjoy.

 **Chapter Six – That's Kuon**

Kyoko looked over the drama that Sawara-san had given her and tears appeared in her eyes. She wouldn't be able to do this role, there was no way that she would be able to control herself if she was chosen for this role. This was a drama that was said to have potential to be shown abroad and Kyoko had been offered the lead role. She would be a highly successful reporter who didn't worry about love or family and had her eyes set on success but one night she reports on an accident and a heroic young man who saved people from a burning building. The man gets sent to the hospital where it's discovered that he has leukemia and her character would fall in love with him until he died.

She couldn't do this. It would just bring images to mind about, what if this was her in this story and Kuon died. She didn't want to even imagine Kuon dying, him being sick was painful enough. "I'm sorry," she whispered as she tried to brush away the tears. "Please turn it down for me."

"You understand that after doing this drama you might be offered some international work," Sawara-san continued and Kyoko bowed her head, it wasn't worth it. She wouldn't be able to do it and if she lost time with Kuon whilst filming this she would never forgive herself.

"There are some personal things that I need to figure out first," Kyoko said before bowing deeply and handed the script down. "Please turn it down for me as soon as you're able to."

Sawara nodded, "You might not get another chance," he said and Kyoko nodded. She understood but not having another chance at a drama role was much better than losing time with Kuon whilst being reminded that he was ill.

She tried to dab away the tears before she went out of the office and found Yashiro waiting for her. "Let's go to the next place," she told him and he tilted his head.

"Kyoko, is something wrong?" he asked and she looked at him, shaking her head. Soon she would be going with Kuon to his doctor's appointment but she wasn't sure how to act about the situation because Kuon hadn't been home for quite some time. She knew that he was struggling but didn't he realize how he was hurting _her_?

"I'm scared," she whispered and Yashiro froze not sure how to proceed. "What if I have the baby and they don't have their dad?" she whispered and Yashiro sighed.

"You'll still have all of us to help you," he tried to reassure her and Kyoko closed her eyes before nodding. "We'll be able to help and I know that Kuon's parents would do everything that they could. I thought you hadn't been to the appointment yet, the doctor might tell you that it's nothing."

"I took another pregnancy test," Kyoko said quietly, "I'm pretty sure that there's a baby in there," she said and Yashiro shook his head.

"I mean with Kuon," he said gently and Kyoko shook her head silently, tears threatening to spill out. With how sick he had become it was obvious that something was wrong and stomach cancer made sense but she desperately wanted for it not to be true. She wanted him to be happy and healthy and she didn't want him to feel that the only way to face it was as Ren. It was okay for him to be vulnerable. He wouldn't be hurt if he at least let himself be vulnerable in front of her.

"As much as I care about both of you," Yashiro said softly, "Let's focus on work until the jobs today are done and then we can talk about Kuon and what a big dope he is later, okay?" he asked and Kyoko nodded. Yashiro hugged her close not knowing that the only comfort that that was bringing to Kyoko were the memories of all the times Kuon had held her.

…

…..

Kuon stared at his blond hair again. He had already been told by someone that Ten had recommended for him when she was overseas that he shouldn't be dying his hair so much and Ten would tell him the same thing but he still felt extremely shaky. It was as if he was out in a thunderstorm without an umbrella.

Nervously he dug his phone out of his pocket and dialed Kyoko's number, hoping that she wouldn't decline the call. He was still her husband right? Wasn't there that rule where a wife had to answer a husband's phone call and vice versa or was that just his privilege as a male coming through. He took a nervous breath in before letting it out, not knowing that she had heard that.

"Hard day, Corn?" she asked gently and his eyes widened.

"You picked up?" he asked and he could hear the disbelief in her breathing, he looked down, he shouldn't have said that. "I just wasn't sure if you were going to pi—"

"Corn," Kyoko said in a steady voice, "If I ever had a moment where I did _not_ want to speak with you then you would already know. Sweetheart, I am always excited to hear your voice but if you don't get out of your own head then I am going to have to recommend to the president that _you_ are sent into Love Me section for a year."

Kuon laughed softly, "Well, at least you know that it's _me_ even without seeing me."

Kyoko was silent for a moment and Kuon smiled imagining her blank look as she tried to work it out, maybe he had been too vague in his wording. "Wait…what? I don't…" he heard her go silent again before her voice got loud and excited, "Did you dye your hair back!?" she asked, "Did you? Are you saying that I know it's you because Ren wouldn't have been so open about his emotions and he would try to cover up the flaws. Wait, what color is your hair?" she asked and Kuon chuckled lightly.

"It's blond," he said and could almost see fireworks from the happy way that Kyoko laughed. "To be honest with you though, princess. I'm still really really scared. I hate telling you that right now I'm not that strong, bullheaded guy that you fe-"

"I love you," Kyoko told him. "Thank you for being honest with me, Corn," she smiled. "Kuon, I love you. Let me be your support again and we can get through this together."

"Do you want to get food from a cart and take a walk tonight?" he asked her and Kyoko giggled.

"Of course. I'll meet you at home or at LME."

"Let's meet at LME," he smiled and he could hear Kyoko squeak a little. She wasn't turning him away and so he shouldn't be trying to create some distance between them also.

…

…

Kyoko had said goodnight to Yashiro and was now on her way to the secret meeting spot she had with Kuon. Hopefully nobody else would be there and hopefully he was wearing the green cashmere sweater again that brought out his eyes and that pair of jeans that made Kyoko stare at his butt, which unfortunately he now knew about and wore them more often to tease her. He was scared but being scared and admitting it was the first step to overcoming it and she would do all that she could to help.

However, she was still worried about the baby and whether or not she should tell Kuon that he would be a father in the relative future. She let out a deep sigh and then looked up to see Kanae standing there. Had she been summoned?

"Mo" Kanae said as she poked Kyoko in the forehead, "What's going on with you? Is this to do with the thing with your husband?"

"You kno-how could you know about Kuon?" Kyoko asked nervously. She didn't want people turning this into a big thing but she seemed too late. "I mean, you probably know nothing about Kuon," Kyoko said as she and Kanae entered the downstairs lobby. "I mean, how are things with you, Moko? Are your dramas going well? Any more offers?"

"I was offered something this afternoon, apparently it's about this journalist who falls in love with a sick guy, the actress that they offered it to turned it down although I don't know why they told me that, I don't really want to be known as someone who takes hand me down scripts," Kanae commented before sighing.

"Kyoko, is this to do with what we were discussing at the Thank You party?" she asked and Kyoko paused. She couldn't really remember what it was that they were discussing, she remembered Kuon leaving the plate of food and she blinked. Maybe they _were_ discussing his appetite.

"Maybe, I'm not sure," Kyoko said sadly and Kanae stared at her.

"That guy, I knew that guy was too good to be true," Kanae said and Kyoko looked at her nervously. "I mean, the fact that he has to hide them from you. The way that he…you should divorce him," Kanae said as Kyoko looked at her speechless, her mouth open wide with shock. What was Kanae talking about?

"I'm not going to divorce Kuon, what even made you think that?" Kyoko asked as she put a hand up to her heart. Sure, when she had been younger she had seen the downside to love and there were many things that were _still_ wrong with love but there was a whole lot that was right with it as well and Kuon showed her how that could be possible.

"Well the fact that he's sleeping with you and that he's physically abusing you," Kanae said and Kyoko looked at her as if she had completely lost her mind. She froze and looked around. What was she talking about? She could see people eavesdropping on their conversation.

"Never in my life has Kuon physically abused me!" she yelled out before glaring at Kanae who took a step back with that look of betrayal on Kyoko's face. "Kuon has never slept with anyone either! Kuon is the best man that I have ever met. It's cruel for you to spread hateful gossi-"

"That's enough," a security said as he made his way towards the two of them. Kyoko froze, she was about to go into a bow but she smiled up when she felt Kuon's arm around her and looked up into those emerald eyes, blond hair on his cheek. She grinned before hearing Moko's voice.

"You've got a lot of nerve," she said before looking at Kyoko, "If you had any sense, you'd leave him before you get hurt again." She looked at the security and then looked around. "I'll leave on my own, don't you dare touch me. Investigate his records though," she pointed a finger at Kuon.

"I'm sorry, Corn," Kyoko said as she squeezed his hand. What had just happened? Had Kanae really just flipped out on Kuon? What had caused _that_ to happen?

"Are you okay, sweetheart?" she asked as she saw Kuon's guilt on his face. "She doesn't know what's going on. She was just jumping to conclusions. I don't know why she thinks that you're having an affair," Kyoko said nervously and Kuon sighed. They remained silent for a moment more and Kyoko pushed her face into his chest. "Corn, sweetheart, what's wrong?"

Kuon shook his head and then smiled nervously, "Shall we go take our walk?" he asked and Kyoko nodded slowly. This _definitely_ felt like the wrong time to bring up the baby. What was Moko-chan talking about anyway? Kuon wouldn't cheat on her. However, what was even worse was that she could see Kuon was breaking inside at that public accusation, he didn't need this right now.

"Let's just go home okay?" she asked him before seeing that creepy gentleman's smile appear again, she saw him look through her before saying.

"I think a walk would be all right, Mogami-san."

Kyoko sighed and clicked her thumb and finger in front of his face with a frown on hers. "Come on Kuon, come on, I know that you're…"

"Let's go home," he said and Kyoko could see the depression and fear in him as he crawled out of the role of Ren Tusruga. Kyoko would get down to the bottom of this.

 **End of Chapter Six**

 **Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

 **Thank you to reviewers of Chapter Five**

Brennakai, H-Nala, Kaname671

 **Author Response**

I was thinking of that too about Kyoko not being alone but I forgot to write it lol, I managed to include it here a little though. Next chapter will have some Kyoko feeling lonely moments in it with what I'm currently planning. Thanks for the support


	8. Chapter 7 - An Open Window

**Chapter Seven – An Open Window**

Kyoko wished that she could enter Kuon's subconscious and make sure that he was okay. He seemed to be withering away in front of her and to be truly honest, it terrified her. She held his hand as they waited for the doctor to call them in. Because of their high profile status, the doctor had found somewhere for them to sit so nobody would know they were there but Kuon still felt ill and from more than just the stomach cancer.

"It's going to be okay," she assured him. "It'll be okay, Corn," she tried to get him to relax but he was still extremely nervous. She hadn't seen him this way before, his legs bouncing up and down and his shoulders tense and his face with a look of dread. She kissed his cheek hoping that that would bring him back to reality. "Let's think of something else," she hummed. "Father wanted to meet up with us later today," she commented and Kuon bowed his head.

"I'm sorry," he apologized quickly and Kyoko tilted her head to the side. "I can't be here…I can't learn this information today. I can't be here…"

Kyoko froze as she realized how terrified he was, she sighed before getting down so she could kneel in front of him and make direct eye contact. "It'll be okay," she assured him, "I will be right here. You'll be fine," she leaned up to cup his cheek and kiss him passionately. "I love you."

"It won't be fine," Kuon sighed before nodding as he bowed his head. "Thank you for dealing with me in this manner, I do realize it's not the most attractive."

"Kuon," Kyoko told him slowly, "I love you. I think you are attractive and sexy no matter what but that isn't the point. The point is that you are here and I'm here for you and the doctor just wants to make you better. I know how scary it is because _I_ feel scared. I feel scared that I could lose you, that you'll get sicker in front of my eyes before you get better and I won't be able to do anything."

"And I apo-" Kuon began and Kyoko shook her head telling him to not apologize to her.

"And the truth is that although it will hurt, I'll know that your chances are improving. This is just another hurdle that we have to get together as a couple and I'm glad that I'm here. The doctor will be able to suggest a treatment plan and maybe even a dietary recommendation. He'll be able to give us details that we might not otherwise know, details that will make you better," she said in a serious manner and he smiled weakly as he gazed into her amber eyes. "And the truth is that I know you can do this. You are the most amazing person that I know and I love you with everything in my heart. We'll do this together, okay?"

Kuon nodded shakily before kissing her again. "Thank you," he whispered and Kyoko stood back up to sit next to him. She didn't care that she had dirt on her knees and that her skirt needed straightening. This doctors appointment was extremely important and she had to support him with everything that she had and rely on the medical professionals to provide the best treatment.

"Hizuri-san, the doctor will see you now," a nurse said as she blushed talking to him and the doctor came out to greet him as well. Kuon looked anxiously back at Kyoko who stood up and Kuon shook his head at her, puzzling her.

"I'm guessing, Kuon-san," the doctor said as he looked towards a taken aback Kyoko, "That it would be your preference to start the examination alone, without your wife," he said and Kyoko looked at him sadly hoping that wasn't it. She didn't want to say that she didn't trust him but she was definitely concerned for him.

"I'd prefer that, yes," he told him and Kyoko repositioned herself in the chair. "I'm sorry," he whispered and Kyoko sighed before nodding. She sat up straight and kept her hands in her lap. She wanted to go in with him. She wanted to help him feel that the examination was going to be okay and that she would support him but he seemed to be a little apprehensive. She sighed. She was always better at getting him to calm down than he was of helping himself.

With a deep breath in, Kyoko watched him leave and her hands started shaking. She bowed her head and started to sob messily. As she sat there, another doctor who was finishing with his patient came out to her. "Hi, you're Kyoko Hizuri, right?" he asked her and she nodded. She wasn't sure if it was the emotions from dealing with this as Kuon's wife or whether it was the pregnancy hormones but she felt completely drained and overwhelmed. She had prepared to be at his side but that didn't seem to be the way Kuon wanted it and it hurt her to not know.

"I'm…" she nodded and the doctor sat down next to her.

"Is there anything that I can help with. Don't worry, we're all on hospital orders to not disclose private information on any of the patients. Are you here for -"

Kyoko sighed and drew a deep breath in, "What do you think the chances are of a man in his late twenties recovering from stomach cancer?" she asked and the doctor sighed.

"I'm sorry to hear that," he said and Kyoko nodded, "Do you know what stage Kuon-san's illness is at?" he asked and Kyoko sighed.

"The…I think the tests said stage three, maybe stage two," she whispered as she wrapped her arms around herself and the doctor nodded.

"It'll be a lot of work to overcome but if he can endure it then there are treatments that have been proven to work," the doctor tried to comfort her. "I'm not saying that he'll survive but I'm saying that the chances are leaning on him surviving rather than not. You'll have to await for future tests but as long as he's fighting and motivated and following doctor recommendations then he'll continue to have more of a probability of life over death. I'm sorry that we can't provide any guarantees."

Kyoko nodded and took a deep breath in before trying to close her eyes. She wanted to think about him being okay. She wanted to think of his strength, how he could always offer her a place of safety and protection. He was her Kuon. She didn't want to lose him.

"I'll grab something from my office," the doctor said and Kyoko looked at him before nodding. She wasn't sure what he was going to say. Kyoko kept her eyes closed as she concentrated on the growing baby in her belly. This was Kuon's child, this baby had her DNA _and_ Kuon's DNA. She had to think about the happier things.

She looked up to see Kuon's doctor looking startled, she paled and stood. Had something gone wrong? A stroke? A seizure? A cardiac bypass? Did he need surgery immediately?

"Has he come out this way?" he asked and Kyoko shook her head.

"He's not in the room?" she asked and the doctor nodded. Kyoko stared at him as if she had been told that they only had a limited time to vacate the hospital before it exploded. She paused, trying to take deep breaths in before her eyes widened and she looked at the man in front of her. "Is there a window in the room?" she asked and the doctor nodded. Kyoko paused before turning without a word and ran off in the direction to the room.

Dashing up the stairs, she tried not to cry and she pushed the door open. She took a step out to the roof and saw him at the edge, looking down onto the city below. She took a few steps forwards so as not to startle him. "I know that you're not planning on jumping this time," she said before he took a step back and turned to look at her, "but you better change your position before one of the doctors or some random person with a camera or a phone spots you. You'll be listed as a potential suicide risk," she commented and Kuon sighed.

"How did you know where to find me?" he asked and Kyoko laughed.

"You're not that hard to understand, at least not to me," she told him before he walked over to her and she squeezed his hand. "You know. I don't think that this fall will give you an idea what flying feels like. You'll be more of…falling with style," she tried to joke before looking at him sympathetically and wrapped her arms around him. "I'm happy that you're not a bird."

"You really do know just what I'm thinking," Kuon sighed as he squeezed her hand and Kyoko raised an eyebrow. Kuon sighed, he knew what she was thinking too and this examination really was going to start this time.

…

…

Kyoko had been given a lot of information about Kuon's health situation by both of the doctors and she was sitting on the floor in their bedroom trying to separate things into different folders. She wanted to get enough information on Kuon's health issues as she could because she knew they were going to beat it. They had to defeat this cancer and then they could focus on parenting although she would have to focus on both at the same time.

It wasn't the right time to talk to Kuon about the baby. He had been so panicked at the hospital that she wanted to do something better for him than just to put pressure on him. A baby meant more money to be spent on the child and they had deep savings but hospital bills could account for a lot as well. Kyoko sighed before looking at a picture of a happy family. This was from a drama that she had done a guest appearance in. She wanted that kind of life for her child.

She was determined not to abort it. Aborting the baby would mean killing the piece of Kuon that she would have left but she still wasn't ready to tell him about it. The baby might motivate him because if Kuon was anything like Kuu, he would be completely thrilled about being a daddy, but it could also put pressure on him. His recovery needed for him to feel free and unpressured, the doctors had told her that much.

She sighed, she would have to pick a day to tell him about the pregnancy and soon, before she started to show although maybe she could pass that off as her stress eating or getting fat or something. She could also tell him that she wasn't going to be working to take care of him. He would believe it.

She laughed gently before feeling her phone buzz. She thought about turning it off. She wanted to maintain the focus she had on the paperwork and on helping Kuon. She closed her eyes, inhaled deeply once again and then pulled her phone out of her pocket. She clicked it on to see that the president had sent her a message.

She sighed and went to read it.

 _We need to talk_ , the first message said and Kyoko felt a shiver down her spine but that shiver was more defined after she read the second text.

 _Have you told Kuon about the baby?_

 **End of Chapter Seven**

 **Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

 **Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Six**

Brennakai, H-Nala, Kaname671, Kris XD,


	9. Chapter 8 - The Tangled Web

**Chapter Eight – The Tangled Web**

Kyoko looked ahead at the president as she attempted to keep calm. He knew. She knew that he knew and she didn't know how to defend herself. When one was generally told that he was going to produce an offspring there were usually a lot of complicated feelings involved even if it was of happiness. Kuon wasn't supposed to have any stress as he tried to fight off his sickness and a baby was just the thing to make him feel more ill and out of control.

Kyoko sighed as she didn't want to be the person to speak first but she knew that one way or another, a conversation would be started in this office.

"I'm taking it that you haven't told him what's going on with you," Lory hummed and Kyoko shook her head.

"I can't give him that type of stress," she told the president who looked at her and nodded sadly. Kyoko quickly leaned forwards, not letting him say anything in the pause of silence, "It's not that I don't want to tell him but you know how Kuon worries. I only want to tell him when it's right. I can do that, right? It's my responsibility to tell him and to make sure that he finds it as happy news."

Lory nodded slowly, "And when do you think that you will tell him?" he asked and Kyoko opened her mouth to answer but then closed it, shook her head, repeated the action and then sighed loudly. "Do you have an answer?" Lory asked her.

"I don't know, I was going to say when he gets better but that might not be a guarantee," she argued and Lory looked at her with a raised eyebrow. It definitely wasn't a guarantee. They didn't even know if Kuon would be able to survive but Kyoko had the feeling that Lory would tell her to tell Kuon about the pregnancy anyway. It was easier when things were all out in the open. Kyoko was still trying to figure out how the president even knew this much.

"Did Yashiro te-"

"No," Lory said before Kyoko could finish her question. It wasn't Yashiro who had told him and he had only been able to get a slight bit of the story out of Kuu who wasn't sure what was needed to be said and what Kuon would have wanted him to say. No. He had methods of deduction and investigation that nobody else had access to. He wasn't about to _give_ access either.

"Then, you just…Kuon is going through something, he pretended to be Ren," Kyoko tried to explain and Lory stared at her before nodding. That was something that troubled him a lot about that boy. He found it easy to switch into different characters when in truth it was much better if he just focused on the healthiest form of Kuon that he could be.

"I know and this isn't the first time that he has used that method of self-defense," Lory nodded he pushed a hand through his hair. These two were hopeless at romance but somehow that made them quite a good match for one another. They had all the kindness and compassion that people in a relationship needed to make it a love story for the history books but they didn't understand this, they couldn't see what they already had. It wasn't hopeless though, even if their relationship ended sooner than it should, it wasn't hopeless.

Kyoko looked at him, "So you're suggesting that you think it would be best to tell him," Kyoko said as she gazed forward and Lory nodded.

"I'm not just thinking that is what would be best for the two of you but I know it will be best. It will be hard though, Kuon isn't the easiest person to have listen to you but I'm sure that it'll give him some motivation to heal. I want that boy to get better again, I truly do but you don't get better by sticking your head in the sand.

"And something like this isn't too overwhelming?" Kyoko asked nervously and Lory sighed.

"It's the dose of reality that he needs," he advised hoping that that was true. Hopefully Kuon would be thrilled to know that he would be having a child even if he weren't present in the child's life due to his health. Kyoko would be able to have part of him with her at all times. He just really hoped for both of their sakes that Kuon would be stable minded.

…..

…..

Kuon looked nervously at the treatment plans that the doctor had printed off for him. There was a lot of work involved in these and the work wasn't what Kuon was afraid of. He was a hard worker and always had been and it wasn't that he didn't know he wouldn't be able to act for a while. He was trying to conquer a terminal illness, acting wasn't supposed to be high priority right now. Still, in sticking with these plans it felt like he was giving into the illness and letting it conquer him.

"What happens if I don't do this," Kuon said and the doctor took a deep breath and sat down opposite him.

"If you don't do this then you probably will die," the doctor said bluntly and Kuon looked at him.

"But there's still hope," he said and the doctor stared at him as if he hadn't heard him properly or didn't understand the words that he had just said. There was little to no hope in the case of a terminal illness if you didn't want to go through with the proper treatment of it but he couldn't tell him that he would die. Saying a definite like that might lead to a lawsuit later on or at least a complaint against the hospital.

"I wouldn't count on your chances for that," the doctor advised before looking to him. "We can start the treatment off slowly, do a little bit at a time and then it won't fee so uncomfortable on your body. I'm sure that there are different pain killers and other medicines which we can find to make the treatment plan more effective and not as painful."

"My body has always taken care of me," Kuon argued and the doctor sighed.

"No it hasn't," he tried to remind the actor. He looked to him carefully. "That's why you're in this position in the first place. Now, there is someone who came as a visitor to see you and it's my advice that they speak with you now. I know that the situation is up to you and you can say yes or no to the treatment plan but I think you should at least speak to someone."

Kuon looked to him awkwardly. So somebody had come to see him, most likely Kyoko. He didn't want to tell her that he wouldn't be doing the treatment plan. She didn't understand that he was sure that he could beat this without help and assistance from the doctors. He nodded slowly. "Sure, I'll see them."

The doctor managed to contact someone on his cell and there was shortly a knock on the door.

He had promised that he wouldn't keep more secrets from Kyoko but he was a free adult man as well. He didn't need to follow what everyone else was telling him to do. He was free to make his own choices. As the door opened, he was surprised to see his father. He smiled weakly. They should have said that it was him but it was better to talk to his dad than Kyoko.

"Hey," he said weakly and Kuu looked at him with concern.

"I was hoping to meet you in the waiting room," Kuu said before turning to the doctor nervously and then turning back around to take note of Kuon. He walked over to him feeling that there was something wrong. Placing a hand on Kuon's shoulder, he gave him a sympathetic look. "Is everything okay in here."

"I'm refusing to participate in the treatment plan," Kuon said and Kuu looked shock, his jaw dropped and he lost his composure. His son was sick. Surely, he should be doing anything possible to get better. He knew that getting help with this health issue wasn't exactly inexpensive but he hadn't thought that Kuon couldn't afford it.

"Is it financial?" he asked. He would give away all the money that he had access to and everything that he could liquidate to save his son.

Kuon looked at him, "Isn't doing it naturally better?" he asked his father who hadn't recovered from his shock yet. "My body can handle it."

"Your body is sick and is weaker because of that illness," Kuu argued before he turned to focus on the doctor. He still couldn't believe that the doctor was actually allowing this to happen. "I mean, isn't this the type of thing that could lead you to die." He sighed, he didn't know the reasons for this but maybe Kuon was still in denial. He had to snap him out of it.

"Can you give us a couple of days to decide and then hopefully make some appointments?" Kuu asked and the doctor sighed and nodded. He printed out further instructions before giving them to Kuu. Kuon stood and Kuu looked at him warily. His son was ill and he wanted nothing more than for him to recover.

"Let's go," Kuon gestured and Kuu nodded nervously. What was his son thinking? He clearly wasn't thinking. As Kuon left the room with Kuu behind him, Kuon turned to his father. "Can you not tell Kyoko about what happened today?" he asked, "she doesn't even know that I came to the hospital."

"I can…keep that secret," Kuu said as he watched him cautiously. "We need to discuss this. We need to discussion this aversion you have to the treatment."

Kuon was about to say something back but was interrupted by a nurse who worked in the section where they helped pregnant women. He had never seen her before and so expected that she was some fan of either one of them. It was her following words that took him by surprise.

"Congratulations about the baby," she whispered and Kuon blinked before weakly smiling as his eyes widened. What kind of baby was there? Did they have the wrong person? Wouldn't Kyoko have told him about this if it were _their_ child?

…

…..

Despite the news about a possible child had left Kuon in shock, he was determined to not bring the subject up. He wanted to wait for Kyoko to tell him that news because she would eventually tell him whether or not it was true. He still didn't have much of an appetite, he never did but he wasn't exactly happy with how things had worked out at the hospital. He looked at his wife, understanding that she was worried for him but there were more important things.

"Here," Kyoko smiled as she brought him the dish that the doctors had recommended for him. "I think it tastes really good today," she said with a sense of pride and Kuon stared at her.

"I'm sorry," he apologized as he looked at it, "I'm not really -"

"is it your throat?" Kyoko asked nervously. Before when she had been his temporary manager, he hadn't wanted to eat anything because of how sore his throat was. She looked at the soup and then took a spoonful of it herself. It tasted good. It tasted like proper food and not just doctor-recommended food.

"Does it matter if I eat?" Kuon asked her and Kyoko nodded.

"Don't you want to get better?" she asked before stirring her own soup. "I could make something else. There are a lot of recipes that I can make or I could make a smoothie or…."

"I'm not ill," Kuon told her and Kyoko looked at him in shock. She had been with him to the doctors, she had seen the test results. He couldn't still be in denial about this.

"But -" she tried to argue and Kuon shook his head.

"I'm not ill. The tests…they told me that they made a mistake," he tried to smile but Kyoko looked at him confused. That was the smile that he used to others when he was saying something untrue but why was he trying to prove to her that he wasn't ill. If he didn't face this sickness then it would just get worse.

"I don't understand," she said simply as she stared at him. "Who are you trying to convince? It's nothing to be ashamed of but don't you want to get healthy again?"

Kuon shrugged and Kyoko stared at him. Something had happened and she had the feeling that Kuon wouldn't tell what it was.

 **End of Chapter Eight**

 **Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

 **Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Seven**

Brennakai, H-Nala, Kaname671, Vanillaaa


	10. Chapter 9 - The Air We Breathe

**AN:** Kind of sad part at the end (just warning) and something I've never written in a fic before. Hope you enjoy and thanks for your patience with the extremely slow update this year.

 **Chapter Nine – The Air We Breathe**

Kuon sighed as he sat on the side of the bed. He didn't want to be here. There was too much to concentrate on at one time and he felt sick and sweaty and something was wrong. No. It wasn't just that something was wrong, everything was wrong. Yes, he had wanted to have kids with Kyoko but he didn't want for her to have his children if he wouldn't even be able to be a father. What good would that do for the kids? He just had to prove that he wouldn't get sick.

He had to prove that he wasn't sick and that meant that he had to believe that the test results were fake and refuse the treatment plan which his father was trying to convince him to schedule. Why did nobody understand this? He bowed his head trying hard to not let the pressure climb inside of him to the point where he felt ill.

As he lifted his head, Kuon looked around. He had never felt so claustrophobic before. They were all attempting to lull him into this falsehood and this accepting of things that he didn't want to face right now. He couldn't even be angry at Kyoko. It wasn't Kyoko's fault that she was pregnant. In fact, if it wasn't for this illness then that pregnancy would be a thing to feel happy about. There was a knock on the door and Kuon felt that painful icy sensation in his body.

Sooner or later, he would have to face the truth but that scared him more than anything.

He opened the door to see Kyoko standing there, looking up at him with a confused and very concerned expression. "Sweetheart, can you talk to me?" she asked as she stared into his eyes and Kuon turned, unable to make eye contact with her. "I thought we went through this. I thought we discussed that as long as you followed the treatment plan that it would work out for the best. Are you okay?"

Kuon stared at her again, his eyes wide as he looked her over. "Yeah," he nodded before looking away and Kyoko could tell that he was definitely _not_ okay. "I'm fine. I was just thinking that I might need to go and do an overseas shoot soon," he lied and Kyoko hummed. She raised an eyebrow not wanting to tell him that she talked with Yashiro about Kuon's upcoming schedule and he had never mentioned an overseas anything.

"Overseas…you mean, America?" she asked and Kuon looked away.

"I'm not sure yet," he said and Kyoko held back a pained laugh. He was trying to run away again and she hated to see that in him. Where was his confidence? Why couldn't he be the Kuon she had fallen in love with and fight this. It was okay for him to be afraid. Hell, she was terrified. It wasn't okay for him to stop fighting.

"Well, could you find out?" she asked him slowly, only a few motions away from trapping him in a padded room until he came to his senses. She took his hand and put it to her heart, trying to make eye contact with him which he was avoiding. "What happened? At the appointment today with your dad, what happened? What did they say to you?"

Kuon refused to say anything, the thoughts of his unborn child filling his head. He wanted to promise Kyoko and their child everything in the world but he had no control of anything right now. He felt that, as that stalker creep had said, the person who gave Kyoko that stone had either gone mad or was no longer of this world.

"Did they give you a life expectancy?" she asked him. "A prognosis? Something negative?"

"I'm fine," he argued before coughing, the pain showing on his face which meant that it was so great and intense that even _he_ couldn't hide it. Kyoko could see that he was getting weaker and as much as she wanted to smack some sense into him, that probably wouldn't do anything.

"Obviously that is wrong," Kyoko said in a no-nonsense manner. She put her hand on his neck, forcing him to face her. "Listen to me. I know that you can't handle this and that's fine. That's why we're together but you have to be honest with me and communicate."

"Like you've been honest with me?" Kuon asked as he looked at her feeling as if he was going to crumble. Kyoko blinked and Kuon reached out to put a hand over her belly. Kyoko sighed as she watched him. She knew that she should have told him but she was afraid that he would reach a point where the news would push him over the edge.

"I'm sorry," she whispered as she saw his pain. "I know that you deserved to know but I'm worried about you, Kuon. You're not dealing with this okay. I hate to judge you because you have to know by now just how much I'm in love with you but you need some help. I didn't know what you were going to do if I told you."

"Meaning that you don't trust me," Kuon told her as he looked away and Kyoko stared at him feeling horrible as she saw his disappointment. She didn't want him to feel that way because she did trust him to take care of her and protect her but she didn't know how he would treat himself. She put a hand to his chest hoping that he was still okay. "I think I need some time to process this," he told her.

Kyoko closed her eyes trying hard not to cry, she shook her head stubbornly. She wondered whether she should continue to argue with him or maybe it would be better to talk to someone about the way that he was behaving. She just wanted him to be happy and alive. This was beyond her capabilities as his wife. There was only so much that her love could do.

"I'll come check on you soon, I love you," she whispered as she leaned up to kiss his cheek. He didn't really respond in the same way he usually did. Something terrified her about that. It felt as if she was leaving him for the last time. She shook her head. Kuon knew how needed he truly was, didn't he?

…

….

It had been nearly half an hour since she had left Kuon and Kyoko felt terrible that she had done so. She was still wondering whether she had made the right choice in just allowing him to have some time by himself but he wasn't a child, he didn't need to be monitored like a little boy. It would have helped her feel better if she had been able to talk him through this even if he ended up in their bed wrapped in a cocoon of bedsheets.

Maybe it would be best to call the president. Maybe they could all work together and figure out what was hurting Kuon the most. She had to prove to him that he was still special and loved and that there was still a chance that they could fight this together and get to the other end as a loving family.

She really wished that she had stayed with him.

Kyoko wrapped an arm around her chest as she heard the sound of an ambulance near their house. It scared her. She kept thinking about how she might one day have to go to the hospital only to be told that Kuon had died and worst of all, that she hadn't been there when he had said goodbye. Still something felt very off and wrong about all of this.

She just wanted Kuon to wrap his arms around her and to promise her that everything would be okay and that she actually had very little which she needed to worry about. She wanted to comfort him too. Was her presence enough to do that.

As Kyoko walked to the door, she could hear the sound of a police car approaching their direction and her eyes widened as she realized that Kuon's jacket and shoes were missing and there was an envelope taped to the door with the words written on it

' _I'm sorry, Kyoko'_

Kyoko reached for the envelope feeling as if something very bad was happening and her eyes widened as she felt a clump inside. She knew exactly what the item was without having to open the envelope. He had returned his wedding ring to her. Her brain flashed as she worked out why the ambulance and police would be so near. He hadn't really done something to himself had he.

Kyoko exited the house to see where people were starting to gather and she could see Kuon's car parked a little distance from their home. He had tried to…Kyoko shivered as she saw the ambulance and felt that she could see a black bag large enough for a corpse before the emergency vehicle pulled away. Why hadn't they contacted her! She was his wife they needed to contact her.

Kyoko felt confused, had he been that overwhelmed that he would have actually committed suicide. She felt as if she were about to faint before facing the police officer. "What happened?" she asked and one of the officers looked away from her.

"I'm sorry, that's private information, ma'am," he said and Kyoko stood there with her fists at her side.

"Hizuri-san," the chief officer said as he looked at her, "May I ask you to step aside?" he asked and Kyoko stared at him. She felt frustrated by all of this. Why weren't they telling her what happened? "Your husband just attempted to kill himself by way of carbon monoxide poisoning. We're attempting to keep the situation as quiet as possible."

Kyoko stared at him. Wasn't Kuon even going to attempt to fight? There was more than himself that he needed to think about. She nodded weakly although she felt cold and sweaty at the same time. "Where is he now?" she asked.

 **End of Chapter Nine**

 **Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Eight

H-Nala, Kaname671


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